Benign paroxysmal positional vertigo was my companion for the last three months and happily I can say it has now stopped rocking my world.

BPPV is a big name for a tiny medical condition caused by minute crystals of calcium carbonate called otoliths - what a wonderful word for using in a fantasy story, I shall tuck it away - which nestle into gel on top of sensory cells in a special area of the inner ear called the vestibular. In this area there are two sacs, the utricle and the saccule known as the otolith organs. They are only 10 microns in size which means the crystals are even smaller. These organs are very, very tiny and yet so important and clever. They sense gravity and linear movement. When the head tilts the otolith crystals shift with gravity but remain in the gel. The gel moves the hairs, and the brain interprets the movement. Wow. Our brains are incredible.

These tiny crystals and sensors allow us to move with confidence through the world.

Scientists believe these organs evolved from fish, as modern-day fish have these organs too and use them for detecting sound and for balance.



These tiny organs are one more piece of evidence that we are not aliens. I’m not sure if I’m disappointed or not. 

Otoliths are made of the same substance as pearls but are jagged pointed rocks rather than smooth and round. Still rather beautiful but I find it hard to imagine that it was a few of these beasties that caused so many problems for me.

It is not just the Otolith organs which tell the brain where we are in the world, there are also the three semi-circular canals filled with fluid called endolymph – another great word for a fantasy novel, even semi-circular canals conjure up an incredible landscape feature. Brilliant inspiration.



These canals are lined with tiny sensory hairs which relay information to sensory cells and this is passed on to the brain. Fascinating. Each canal provides specific information about body position and balance which ensures vision remains stable even when we move. This is very important for coordination while being active and means Yoga is not a dangerous sport. The brain analyses all the information it receives from the otolith organs and the ear canals and ensures we don’t lose control and fall.

That is until a few of these crystals escape their gel and float off on an adventure, disturbing the fluid and tickling the hairs in the canals, sending wrong information to the brain, and causing the world to spin, tilt, and turn. Of course, the world doesn’t move any differently from normal, but the wonderful brain is being given mixed messages and the body reacts accordingly.

I was in the UK, spending much needed time with family after almost two years of not seeing them.

I woke up, got out of bed to head to the toilet but the world tilted, span and threw me to the left across the room and into the wardrobe. Before coming to an abrupt stop, in those few seconds my head was trying to make sense of what was happening. Was it an earthquake? Why did the floor tilt? Terror mixed with confusion, a truly horrid experience. The collision stopped my drunken movement and I fell to the floor, trying to calm my beating heart and panic. Adrenaline pumped through me as I catalogued my injuries. Bump on the head, bruised collar bone, bruised elbow, bruised hip. Only bruises and I could talk.

The world slowed and stopped spinning, so whatever the cause it wasn’t too serious. Got up too quick from a bed higher than I’m used to maybe?

Then nausea hit like a freight train, and I crawled to the bathroom to retch.

What a lovely way to start the day.

I spoke to medical staff and took their advice and comfort, eager to never feel that again although once crystals have a taste of floating freedom it is likely they will try it again some time.



I took tablets to stop the nausea even though this made me so sleepy I couldn’t even read, and I faithfully did suggested exercises specifically to dislodge the crystals and send them back home despite the nausea and dizziness these exercises created. All part of the process, I was told.

The following few weeks were a mixture of very dizzy, slightly dizzy, a heavy head, and the odd day when I felt as normal as I ever am. I was optimistic each time I felt better, until I leant down, looked to the right too quick or stood up and it was back.

It felt as if the world was slightly off kilter, as if I was between two parallel realities and I was  keeping a foot in each. These realities would twist apart, and I would stumble. I couldn’t write as my head was fuzzy and the world a strange place and I was so very tired.

Some days I sat on my bottom to get downstairs, always keeping a hand in touch with the physical world, and I slowed down. It wasn’t me, but it was necessary to avoid any more injury. Other days I went for a gentle cycle ride or a walk with no problems at all.

After a month those crystals still didn’t want to go home, but I’d had enough of the world being wrong. I was impatient and tried new movements, alternative medicines, pressure points until I felt dreadful. It was too much. My body needed time and a medical professional said to stop the exercises.

Walking helped, so I bought a hiking stick and walked every day. I don’t know if it was the fresh air or being upright and moving in a linear direction, but it calmed me and my head. I became used to a new way of living with the world.

A quieter, slower, more cautious me emerged. Resigned rather than impatient. 

After two months the spinning world only occurred when I lay down or tipped my head up to see something above me. There would be a moment when all was well and then a slight pressure would build up before the spinning began. It gave me time to pause what I was doing or close my eyes, breathe slowly, and wait for it to stop. There were still some days when I felt fuzzy around the edges and was prone to headaches, but this was better and easier to cope with.

I could do more in the day, slightly dreading lying down, but being too tired to care when evening came. I learnt my Grandma Ivy had also had a problem with the world spinning and tipping when she lay on one side at night. This was somehow comforting, although I was sorry for her. I felt a closeness to Grandma Ivy at night when I turned over and the dark world span. I remembered her and Grandad Fred. Their kind smiles and gentle words swirled with the world, and I would snuggle under my covers and sleep. 

Why some of my otoliths decided to go on vacation from their gel I don’t know. It can be caused by: a head injury, it wasn’t this as I bumped my head after it began not before; infection, there was no evidence to suggest I had an ear infection; diabetes, I don’t have this; migraine, I don’t get migraines; osteoporosis, my bones are as strong as ever; lying in bed for long periods of time, this is not something I am capable of doing, not even when I am sick with the flu; allergic rhinitis , this is a possibility as I was being exposed to many allergens I’d not been in contact with for a couple of years; and age, ah now this one I cannot deny. Women over fifty are more prone to this occurrence, and I am a woman over fifty. Age and allergies then. Neither do I have any control over, well I have a little control re the allergens, but not my body’s reaction to them.

Slowly but surely over the last month the spinning stopped, and a light touch of dizziness replaced it and then that too faded away.

There is a twenty-seven percent chance it will reoccur within the next six months, so I am determined not to forget this experience and I take my time when getting out of bed, even when I’m desperate for a wee. I know what to do and how to take care of myself if it does return, but hopefully it won’t.

I am grateful every day when I sit up slowly and wait on the edge of my bed before standing and the world remains solid and still.